She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
