Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
