I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
A bitchslap is in order.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
