His pubic hair was longer than his dick
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
