This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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