OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
