Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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