i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
