that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
