Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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