He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
