Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize