someone owes me an orgasm
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
