thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems