he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
