After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
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Do I have a choice?
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Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize