My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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