# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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