The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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