maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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