after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
