I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
