I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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