As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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