"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
