So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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