Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize