Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
