yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize