After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
