Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
