Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
