There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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