i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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