I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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