You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
