I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
