I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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