Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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