gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Let's get the cat blown out
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize