do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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