didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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