Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
