She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
