We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
