how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize