I wish I could punch you in the face.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
