eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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