i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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