i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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