if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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