peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
