I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
