JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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