I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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