Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
