I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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