all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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